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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

"And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

Monday night, we saw a swarm of firetrucks and police vehicles just down the street from us. The next day, we heard that two men were arrested for having a Meth lab in their mobile home. I felt a gut punch of fear when I first heard of it. I felt trust and thanks they were caught. Mostly, I felt sad. Sad my kids will grow up knowing about these things. Sad for those men. Sad for their mothers.

Ashton, Josie and Liam did not know of this happening and would not have an understanding of it anyway. I glanced over at them, so content to be together.

Ashton has another loose tooth next to the one he just lost. This morning as I was putting the dishes away, he was sitting on the ground glancing through a Dr. Seuss book. I sent a loving exhale out to anyone out there, broken. They were born. They were kindergartners with loose teeth, into Dr. Seuss and full of hope.

-Valentines day-

On Valentine's day, we had quite the snow storm. I cracked a window in the kitchen. A thick, cold wisp of air cut into the smiling warmth.

My dear and brave friend Julia did not let the snow stop her from canceling our Valentines day playdate/cupcake decorating party. I was so grateful for that. Her company is always treasured and we love her girls dearly.

After our friends left, the kids went out to enjoy the snow. It isn't winter in NY until you have a pile of snow big enough to do some sledding and snow fort building in your own driveway.

Josie helped me prepare our Valentines day dinner this year.

We had sparkling grape juice, french bread pizza with heart-shaped pepperoni

and a salad with heart-shaped cucumbers and tomatoes

Josh surprised Josie with her own flowers. She was so thrilled to receive roses from her dad. She proudly displays them in her room. I am married to a good man. My best friend.

We had red velvet milkshakes for dessert. They were SO good.

We still have Christmas clings in our front windows.

A baby book I had ordered for Eli came in the mail yesterday. I am a little over 35 weeks pregnant now. I have slowly started to pack bags and write lists. I am excited to see his face.

Each day, Liam will find time to sneak in the kitchen at least once to steal the eggs. He'll quickly sit down at the table and tell me, "CHICK-EE" when I walk in. When we start our search for a bigger home, a yard fit for chickens will definitely be a priority on my list. We love chick-ee's.

Sending love your way. Enjoy the "heat wave!" xoxo, Jessie

Monday, February 10, 2014

The tooth fairy

About this time last month, I noticed one little tooth sticking out a little further than the others in Ashton's mouth.

My eyes teared up. I sent a text to Josh to tell him the exciting news about the new, wiggly tooth. His reply? "Oh no. Is that bad?!" 

I laughed. With Ashton being our first born, all this "new" stuff can still be so new.

He was only about 5 months when that little tooth first came in. We were living in the one bedroom apartment in Lakeland. I was sitting near the refrigerator inspecting his little blue box filled with infant toys, when I looked over at him and spotted it. A tiny piece of pearly white poking through his slippery pink gums on the bottom. I excitedly sent a picture to Josh. It was, in some ways, his first step towards toddler-hood. Even at a wee 5 months.

Now, we have a 6 year old growing boy. That sweet little tooth that was apart of him for such a short time in his young life, is now just a piece of the past. He came running to me one day last week with a bloody mouth, "Mom! Mom! Josie and I were playing on the bed and... AND SHE FELL ON MY FACE! and! and! MY TOOTH FELL OUT!"

I felt so excited for him. His joy. Remembering what it felt like to lose my own back when.

We are already beginning to see an adult tooth coming in to replace the itty tooth that fell out and left a bloodied stain on our comforter. Even at a wee 6 years, a piece of his adulthood. I truly love and appreciate these signs of health and growth.

The tooth fairy visited in the night. Leaving traces of glitter.

(Speaking of Ashton. a couple photos he took a few weeks ago).

a couple from the same night.

Believe it or not, we had a brief time in January where we didn't have a speck of snow on the ground. Even I had forgotten about this.

The next day? 

I feel so much more aware of everything this time around. Something that doesn't usually happen when I am pregnant. I am typically too tired to focus. This time, I feel awake even when I am tired. I feel present and good.

The kids will do school work in the morning and head outside after lunch to enjoy the snow for the afternoon. Something feels so right about all of this.

On Superbowl Sunday, we rooted for the Broncos. Ashton was proud to say he was rooting for the Seahawks. I simply love another excuse to eat good food.

I am excited about Valentines day. I have always loved this day dedicated to love. When I was little, my dad always came home at one point or another during February and gave me a box of sweetheart candies. He would never say much. He actually never said much at all to me. but I remember these little things and feel his love. I think he liked Valentines day too.

Josie made this and said it was me. Enough said.

Hannah and Ryan came over during a snow day last week. We have since been covered with snow on snow on snow. I am glad for snow in the winter just as I am glad for upcoming spring days with windows wide open. Feeling warm again to the core, taking a brilliant inhale when opening a window. Bare feet in the summer and crisp smelling leaves and chill in the fall. I can't complain. Layering up, locking down, windows open, warmth. This is all good to me. Life.

Talk to you soon.

Xoxo, Jessie