Homeschool mom

Sometimes I write up an entire blog post in my head. I tell you about my life. The times- both good, bad and overwhelming. I tell you about my family and friendships. What hurts my heart and what is good. I'm often too busy with the kids to write it all down. But somehow, it's somewhat therapeutic for me to sort it all out and write it down in my mind.

Just this morning, I shared with you how anxious I was feeling. I was holding a weepy Eli, who had been awake since 5 this morning. While sorting through all my thoughts, the other three were asking questions and doing a good job at interrupting my story process as I scrambled eggs on the stove top.  

I wonder what it'll be like some day when our home falls silent. Our children will be grown and I will no longer be interrupted. I'll probably write often about these days. How I miss a tired baby, half asleep and heavy in my arms. A toddler crying over juice choices and older kids threatening to, "never play with each other again" because they simply aren't in agreement with what they are playing. I know I'll miss this. In so many ways, I already do now.... some how.

We start school on Tuesday. I am both excited and nervous for the new year. I wish I could silence the doubting voices. They aren't loud but they exist. Hearing my own voice somewhere deep, down inside that says, "why try?" Sometimes I need a stadium-style speaker, bold and loud, singing the voices of those who have been supportive. "You've got this, Jess. Gods got this." 

Please remind me when I forget. 

I remember when I was homeschooled. It wasn't the kids that made me feel different but some of the adults most certainly. Adults that would give me the weird eye when I confessed I was taught at home. "Did your mother go to school for this?" "Do you like being homeschooled?" "Are you learning anything?" "Don't you miss real school?" "Aren't you sad you can't go to school parties?"

But really. Shame on those adults. They should've known better. May we all be the kind of humans that can learn to accept good differences. Respect eachother. What really matters in the end? ....That was the song of my 13 year old heart.

Our differences make all the difference.

My favorite thing homeschool taught me? ....Acceptance for those who dare to live a bit differently and the heart to encourage those that are struggling to live on the not-so-mainstream path. How blessed we are to be free to be who we are. ...LIVE in such a way. 

To the kids,

I have no idea where this path is leading us. I simply know God had it in His plan to write it on my heart. That's enough for me right now. May this school year be fun. May it be fun and rewarding. You remind me each and every day what a gift it is to be able to be with you. It's a blessed life, this one. One I could have never dreamed up for myself. I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

You are treasured. 

Public school, private school, unschool, homeschool - may you all have a rich, rewarding school year. May our differences light up the world in every beautiful way.

Xoxo, mama Jessie